Who is Ophelia & Why is she Drowning?

Hamlet is my favorite Shakespearean play of all time. It's filled with beautiful poetic words that sing to my heart and ear. There are elements that I can relate to, especially the element of a dysfunctional family that can't get it together no matter how much money, power or recognition they possess. So why is Ophelia important? She is a woman who is badly misunderstood. She falls into a deep depression which turns into madness. Not a dark, common melancholy, but the kind of dark where one can't see beyond the trees. Ophelia is one of the most studied characters in literary history, commonly associated with wildflowers. Shakespeare associated her with the herb rue, which was once used for abortional purposes.

Was Ophelia's death an accident or a suicide? That is up to debate. She was siting in willow tree branch, fell into the water, and drowned. I could go on and on about the symbolism and the message behind this woman. I don't believe she was a victim. She was the receiver of a bad hand she couldn't quite handle. Moreover, at the receiving end of the famous "to be or not to be" soliloquy where Hamlet basically calls her a whore ~ telling her go to a convent so she can repent her whorish ways.

We can be crowned by love or crushed by it. Most times people are capable of moving forward, in other cases people get stuck. I get stuck sometimes, not necessarily by love, but by life itself. There are times I just feel so tired and want to give up because life plays back like a reel playing again and again in my head. Moving forward is hard for me. I move at a snail-like pace. I don't want to be like Ophelia drowning in her own sorrow. I want to be a champion, a brave warrior, an Amazon!

Yesterday I got a new tattoo. Tattoos for me are like talismans that guard against evil and foster good luck. The new tattoo says: Fortes Fortuna Adjuvat= Fortune Favors the Brave. If I had a choice, I'd rewrite Hamlet with Ophelia being me. I'd give her bravery, I'd give her a pat on the back. I'd show her some confidence and love. I would rewrite history.

Day One

Hello my name is Elizabeth and I need this blog to express my thoughts and feelings. I am a mother, a writer, a wife and a friend to those around me. Recently, I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, a condition I’ve been aware of having for a long time, at least since 2006. My life is one crazy story, I have so much to tell and so much to share. I also have so much to learn, especially from myself.

In 2008 my father had a brain aneurysm and now resides in a nursing home. The following year my grandfather died, and a year after that my grandmother died. All three of them were very close to me and made a huge impact on my life. I am an introspective person, and these events made me reflect on life: what is important, what isn’t. What do I want from life? How am I going to change to become a better person? I don’t have the answers to these things, but I am on a great and grand search to figure it out. I’ve come across new people to help me on my journey. Instead of being in a rut incapable of changing, I want to chance and become a better person for the sake of my family and the sake of myself. Right now I don’t know how to do this, but through this blog I might have the change to express my feelings as I travel down this new path.

Recently, I’ve had a few breakdowns and breakthroughs. Some more pleasant than others. It is getting late now, but I already feel better having started this blog. Expression is therapeutic, it’s not a remedy, but it is necessary to tell your story when something needs to be said.